Dear neighbor:

Your liberal use of fabric softener has almost knocked me unconscious. When we moved into the apartment above the laundry room, I knew I was signing on for a certain amount of dryer exhaust to seep through my open windows, and our bedroom regularly fills with eau d’laundree. But today the scent is so overpowering it smells like I’m sitting in a bath of fabric softener. Or doing lines of Downy like I was Lindsay Lohan on a bender.